"Jingle Bombs" Lyrics

[With Jeff Dunham]

Dashing through the sand
With a bomb strapped to my back
I have a nasty plan
For Christmas in Iraq

I got through checkpoint A
But not through checkpoint B
That's when I got shot in the ass by the U.S. military

It's not funny!

Ooo, Jingle bombs, jingle bombs mine blew up you see
Where are all the virgins that Bin Laden promised me
Jingle bombs, jingle bombs your soldiers shot me dead
The only thing that I have left is this towel upon my head

I used to be a man, but every time I cough
Thanks to uncle Sam my dick keeps falling off
My bombing days are done, I need to find some work
Perhaps it would be much safer as a convenient store night clerk,
Ooo, Jingle bombs, jingle bombs I think I got screwed
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I kill you