Adam Sandler - Joining The Cult Lyrics

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Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult

Now that's rediculous

Well, I'm joinin it so you gotta sign up too

What are you talkin about?

Hey, man, don't fuck me on this, just sign up

No! I'm not gonna join a cult!

I can't believe your pullin this shit on me after Monday
night... I...

What?

I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to
watch that other show and we watched your show. I did that
for you!

Yeah, well you kept flippin back to the game!

I wanted to see the fuckin score!!! What do you gotta do
that's so fuckin important, you can't join the religious cult
with me?!

Well, I was gonna go sunbathing

Oh boy, no, no I don't think you should do that because
this guy Russel, he's the leader guy of the cult,...

Yeah...

...he was ramblin on during one of his speeches about the
sun being bad...

Uh huh...

...like the Beast can't come out because the sun's too bright
and it hurts his eyes or sumthin... You show up all sunburned
and that guy's gonna be pissed at you and me

Well, I'm not in the cult, so I don't have to worry about
pissin the leader guy off

Look, I'm starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult guy's
been sayin, some of it makes a lot of sense

Good, but I don't wanna join the cult. We can still hang out,
I just won't be in it with you

The point is, I'm not gonna have time to hang out with you
cause I'm gonna be fuckin busy with this fuckin cult

So I'll visit on weekends, we'll work it out

No, the weekends are like the busiest time. That's when we
go to flea markets and fuckin malls and talk people into
joinin, man

Can I just join for a little while? I told my dad I'd visit him in
Florida in three weeks

Just... You'll ask them, but we gotta join now

Well, what's the hurry?

There a girl I wanna meet there!!! What the fuck's your problem?!

Well... I mean, I don't really have to believe in this stuff, do I?

No, no! Just fuckin tell everyone you believe in the shit. 
When they say the sun sucks, say 'Yeah! Fuck the sun!
I fuckin hate it too! Long live the fuckin Beast'

I don't know man, this is crazy... 

Look, they're gonna give you clothes, they're gonna give 
you a free haircut, you're gonna get food...

It's not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?

It's gonna be a haircut, alright? You said you need a haircut, 
they're gonna fuckin cut your hair. You're goin in savin 
twelve bucks, just fuckin do it!!!

You think the hot girl has a friend for me?

Probably.. I don't... And if she doesn't she'll go out and recruit one for ya

Well... alright...... But hey, if I don't like it, I'm gonna escape, man...

Okay, that's up to you

THREE WEEKS LATER

(chant in background: The nighttime is the right time!)

Hey buddy, you glad you did this?

Oh, this is the best thing I ever did, thank you

You're not mad at them makin you, uh, kill your father, are ya?

Ya know, it's like they said. It was the only way to save him.

You're a good guy.

You're a better one...





 

Send "Joining The Cult" ringtones to your cell

lyrics submitted on 06-01-2005
lyrics corrected by sumguy15 on 06-01-2005