"Mr. Mistoffelees" Lyrics

You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees!
The original Conjuring cat
There can be no doubt about that.

Please, listen to me, and don't scoff, all his
Inventions are off his own bat.
There's no such cat in the metropolis,
He holds all the patent monoplies,
For perfoming surprising illusions,
And creating eccentric confusion.

The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffelees Conjuring Turn

And we all say

Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

He is quiet, he is small he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always decieving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it is gone
You'll find it next week lying out on the lawn!

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

PRESTO!

Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

My manner is vague and aloof
You would think there is nobody shyer
But my voice has been heard on the roof
When I was curled up by the fire
And I've sometimes been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof
Of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Me in from the garden for hours
When I was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenominal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

And not long ago this phenominal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!