South Park (Related Recordings) - Cowboy Timmy - Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo Lyrics

We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose
And we all know Frosty whose made out of snow
But all of those stories seem kind of... gay
'Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday.

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo!
Small and brown he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him between your festive buns.

A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "Howdy ho!"
He's seen the love inside of you
'Cause he's a piece of poo.

Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish-brown, (mmm, mmm)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve, he might come to your town.

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo!
He loves me, I love you
Therefore vicariously he loves you
I can make a Mr Hankey too!

Cartman:
Well, Kyle, where is he?

Kyle:
He's comin'.

Stan:
C'mon dude, push!

Kyle:
I'm trying!

Cartman:
Oh, wait, wait I can see his head!

Kyle:
HERE HE COMES!!

Mr. Hankey:
HOWDY HO!
I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Seasons greetings to all of you
Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now - before I melt away
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say
Howdy ho ho, yum, yum, yum
Christmas time has come!

Sometimes he's runny
Sometimes he's firm
Sometimes he's practically water
Sometime he hangs off the end of your ass and won't fall in the toilet
'cause he's just clinging to your sphincter
And he wont drop off and so you
Shake your ass around and try to get it to drop in the toilet
And finally it does...

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo!
When Christmas leaves, he must leave too
Flush him down but he's never gone
His smell and his spirit lingers on....

Howdy ho!