Ayumi Hamasaki - HOPE or PAIN Lyrics

Romanji:

ittai nani wo kitai shiteru to iu no
nigirishimeteru denwa ga furueru tabi
ichiichi mune ga takanatte
demo sugu ni tameiki ni kaete
mou nando kurikaeshi

kuru wake nai itsuka nante kotoba
itsu made shinjiteru tsumori

nee wasurete shimaeba ii
sukoshi yumemite ita dake datte
kiseki nante okoru wake mo
nai koto kurai wakatteru noni
wakatteru noni

kyuu ni subete ga wakaranaku natta tte
ano hi totsuzen iidashite gomen ne

saigo ni mita namida ga ima mo mada
atama kara hanarezu ni iru

nee doushite me no mae no kimi wo
shinjite agerarenakatta n' darou
suki na mono wo bukiyou na kurai
suki na dake de juubun datta
hazu na noni ne

nee watashi wa kimi ni nanika wo
nokoshite ageru koto ga dekita kana

nee kono mama toki ga sugitara
watashi ni wa nani ga nokoru n' darou
soredemo mada kiseki wo negai
tsudzukeru kokoro? soretomo tada no

kizuato kana?

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English:

What am I expecting?
Every time the phone receiver
I'm grasping trembles
My heart leaps
But soon I'm let down with a sigh
How many times will I continue to do this?

How long am I going to believe the words, "some other day"
When it will never come?

It's better to forget
Thinking that I just dreamed for a little while
Though I know very well
A miracle will never happen
Though I know very well

I'm sorry I told you abruptly that day
That everything became suddenly unclear

The last time that I saw your tears
Is still clinging to my memory

Why couldn't I believe in you .
Right in front of me?
You see? It must have been good enough
Only to love what I was loving
Almost clumsily

I wonder if I could leave
Something for you

When time passes by
What will be left for me?
My heart going on wishing for a miracle?
Or just

A scar?