Buffy The Vampire Slayer - I'll Never Tell Lyrics

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XANDER 
Well, I can do an omolette, I've almost got that... 

ANYA 
This is the man that I plan to entangle 
Isn't he fine? 
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle 
Vengeance was mine! 

But I'm out of the biz 
The name I made, I'll trade for his 
The only trouble is - - 
I'll never tell. 

XANDER 
She is the one 
She's such wonderful fun 
Such passion and grace 
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - - 
Embrace! Tight embrace! 

I'll never let her go 
The love we've known can only grow 
There's just one thing that - - 
No... I'll never tell. 

ANYA, XANDER 
Cause there's nothing to tell. 

ANYA 
He snores 

XANDER 
She wheezes 

ANYA 
Say "housework" and he freezes 

XANDER 
She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe 

ANYA 
I talk; he breezes 

XANDER 
She doesn't know what please is. 

ANYA 
His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe! 

ANYA, XANDER 
The vibe gets kind of scary 

XANDER 
Like, she thinks I'm ordinary 

ANYA 
Like, it's all just temporary 

XANDER 
Like, her toes are kind of hairy 

ANYA, XANDER 
But it's all very well 
Cause, God knows, I'll never tell! 

ANYA 
When things get rough, he 
Just hides behind his Buffy! 
Now look, he's getting huffy 
Cause he knows that I know. 

XANDER 
She clings 
She's needy 
She's also really greedy 
She never - - 

ANYA 
His eyes are beady! 

XANDER 
This is my verse, hello! 
She - - 

ANYA 
Hey, look at me! I'm dancing crazy! 

ANYA AND XANDER 
You know 

XANDER 
You're quite the charmer 

ANYA 
My knight in armor 

XANDER 
You're the cutest of the Scoobies 
With your lips as red as rubies 
And your firm, yet supple - - 
Tight embrace! 

ANYA 
He's swell 

XANDER 
She's sweller 

ANYA 
He'll always be my feller 

XANDER 
That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified 

ANYA 
I've read this tale 
There's wedding, then betrayal 
I know that come the day I'll want to run and hide 

ANYA, XANDER 
I lied 
I said it's easy 
I've tried 
But there's these fears I can't quell 

XANDER 
Is she looking for a pot of gold 

ANYA 
Will I look good when I've gotten old? 

XANDER 
Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful? 

ANYA 
When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley? 

XANDER 
Am I crazy? 

ANYA 
Am I dreamin'? 

XANDER 
Am I marrying a demon? 

ANYA, XANDER 
We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell! 

So, thank God, I'll never tell! 
I swear, that I'll never tell 

XANDER 
My lips are sealed 

ANYA 
I take the fifth 

XANDER 
Nothing to see 
Move it along 

ANYA, XANDER 
I'll never 
Tell! 

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lyrics submitted by Marlen K.
lyrics corrected by Spikespet on 03-02-2007