Eminem - The Kids Lyrics

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And everyone should get along 
Okay children, quiet down, quiet down 
Children, I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day 
His name is Mr. Shady 
Chidren, quiet down please 
Bryan, don't throw that (shut up) 
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute while Mr. Kaniff is out with Pneumonia 
(he's got AIDS) 
Good luck Mr. Shady 

Hi there, little boys and girls (fuck you) 
Today we're going to learn how to poison squirrels 
But first I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (huh?) 
Say hi, Bob: Hi Bob 
Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom 
He don't got a job cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot 
But his 12 year old brother looks up to him an awful lot 
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot 
And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock 
When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog 
Drags them into the woods and goes straight to the chopping block 
And even if they escaped and they got the cops 
The ladies would all be just so afraid they'd drop the charge 
'Til one night Mrs. Stacy went off to wonder  
When she felt someone grab hold of her face and said not to talk 
But Stacy knew it was Bob and said knock it off 
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker 
Crazy good as Slim Shady is off the block, uh 
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to give Bob a doctor 
Grabbed Stacy by the legs and chopped them off her 
And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her 
But ever since the day Stacy went off the job they never found her 
And Bob still hangs at the waffle diner 
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana 
Doing what it might do to you 
So see if the squirrels warned you, it's bad for you 

See children, drugs are bad (come on) 
And if you don't believe me ask your dad (raise your hand) 
And if you don't believe him ask your mom (that's right) 
She'll tell you how she does them all the time (she will) 
So kids say no to drugs (that's right) 
So you don't act like everyone else does (uh huh) 
And there's really nothing else to say (sing along) 
Drugs are just bad, mmmkay? 

My penis is the size of a peanut 
Have you seen it? 
Fuck no you aint seen it 
It the size of a peanut (huh?) 
Speaking of peanuts 
You know what else is bad for squirrels? 
Esctasy, it's the worst drug in the world 
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it 
Kids, two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid 
And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back 
So don't get attatched to attack every bone in your back 
Meet Zach, 21 years old 
After hanging out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold 
And decides to try five when he's bribed by five guys 
And peer presure will win every time you try to fight it 
Suddenly, he starts to convulse 
And his pulse goes into hyperdrive 
And his eyes roll back in his skull 
His back starts to look like the McDonalds arches 
He's on Donald's carpet 
Laying horizontal barfin' 
And everyone in the apartment starts laughing at him 
Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him 
And they took it too, so they think it's funny 
So they're laughing at basically nothing 
Except maybe wasting their money 
Meanwhile Zach's in a coma 
The action is over, and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicing yoga 
And that's the story of Zach and Ecstasy 
He's a maniac, so don't eat that, the squirrels say it's bad for you 

See children, drugs are bad (that's right) 
And if you don't believe me ask your dad (that's right) 
And if you don't believe him ask your mom (you can) 
She'll tell you how she does them all the time (she will) 
So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack) 
So you don't act like everyone else does (that's right) 
And there's really nothing else to say (uh huh) 
Drugs are just bad, mmmkay? 

And last but not least 
One of the most humongous 
Problems among young people today is fungus 
It grows from cow manure 
They pick it out, wipe if off, bag it up 
And you put it right in your mouth and chew it 
Yum, yum 
And then you start to see some dumb stuff 
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em 
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (like what?) 
Like fat women in g-strings with orange hair 
Mr. Shady, what's a g-string? 
It's worn Clair, women stick them up their behinds go out and wear them 
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms 
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus 
Your tounge gets 
All swollen up, like a cow's tongue (How come?) 
Cause it comes from a cow's dung 
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact 
But your mom and dad know that's all that I'm good at 
But don't be me 
Cause if you grow up and you're going OD 
They're gonna come for me, and I'm gonna have to grow a goatee 
And get a disquise and hide 
Cause it'll be my fault 
So don't drugs and do exactly as I tell you, they're bad for you 

See children, drugs are bad (uh huh) 
And if you don't believe me ask your dad (put that down) 
And if you don't believe him ask your mom (you can ask) 
She'll tell you how she does them all the time (and she will) 
So kids say no to drugs (say no) 
So you don't act like everyone else does (like I do) 
And there's really nothing else to say (that's right) 
Drugs are just bad, mmmkay? 

Come on children, clap along (shut up) 
Sing along children (shut up) 
Clap along 
Drugs are just bad (somebody's gonna sue me) 
Don't do drugs 
So there'll be more for me 
(Fuck that man) 
(god damn it, mushrooms killed Kenny!)

Send "The Kids" ringtones to your cell

lyrics submitted by daizy
lyrics corrected on 15-01-2005