Flight Of The Conchords - You Don't Have To Be A Prostitute Lyrics

It's a cold night beneath the streetlight
There's a man whose pants are too tight
Oh no, his pants are too tight
(My pants are too tight)

He stands there, an empty stare
Trying to make enough money for his cab fare home
He'll have to walk home tonight
(Don't have enough for the ride)

The streets are cruel, he tries to act cool
He goes to work with only his work tool
You can put away your tool, Jemaine!

You don't have to be a prostitute, no no no no no
You can say no to being a man-ho, a male gigolo
You don't have to be a prostitute, no no no no no
You can say no to being a night looker, boy hooker, rent boy, bro-ho

He can't see his way out
I cannot see my way out
He can't see his way out
Male prostitution seems to be my only option
He can't see his way out
I cannot see my way out
He can't see his way out
No, no, no, no, no

He's selling cheap thrills to pay expensive bills
But check your resume, you must have some other skills
Do you have any other skills?
Like typing?

They see him, want him to please them
Want him to play them, but they don't even pay him
Oh no no, they don't think he's worth it at all

Though they're unknown, he tries to bring them home
Maybe it'd be okay if he lived alone
Ooh, you have a roommate, Jemaine
Don't bring them home!

You don't have to be a prostitute, no no no no no
You can say no to being a man-ho, a male gigolo
You don't have to be a prostitute, no no no no no
You can say no to being a night looker, boy hooker, rent boy, bro-ho