Hairspray - (The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs Lyrics

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VELMA 
Front step 
Cha cha cha 
Back step 
Cha cha cha 
Side step 
Front step 
Back 
And turn 

TRACY 
Oh my God Penny there’s Link! Link. 
I can’t believe I’m really here auditioning 

PENNY 
I cant believe I’m really here watching you audition 

VELMA 
Front step 
Cha 
Back step 
Cha 
Side step 
Front step 
Back 
And Oh Amber look at this motley crew 
Oh this town has certainly gone down hill since I was crowned miss 

AMBER 
Oh mother no more ancient history 

VELMA 
Oh my God how times have changed 
These girls must be blind or completely deranged 
But times seem to halt when I was miss Baltimore crabs 
Amber! That move is far too dirty 

AMBER 
Mother wake up from that dream of yours 
This isn’t 1930 

VELMA 
You can laugh but life’s a test 
Don’t do this don’t do that 
Remember mother knows best 
And the crowns in the vault 
From when I won Miss Baltimore crabs 

AMBER 
These steps are perfect ammunition 

VELMA 
Let me show you how your mommy dear took out the competition 
Girls go get them 
Boys let rumba 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 
Those poor runner ups might still hold some grudges 
They padded their cups 
But I screwed the judges 
Those brawds thought they’d win 
If a plate they would spin in there dance 
Ah not a chance 
Boys put me down 
Oh good morning ladies 
Let’s see what you got 

ENSEMBLE 
Twist twist twist twist 
Mashed potato 
Mambo 

VELMA 
Ready begin 
On my show you’ll never find 
A thrusting hip or bump and grind 

AMBER 
What’s that a dance for flees and ticks 

VELMA 
Oh you should have seen my bag of tricks 
Oh I hit the stage batons ablaze 
While belting aita and preparing soufflés 
But that triple somersault is how I clinched miss Baltimore crabs 
Proceed 

LOUANN 
Are you scared we're on live? 

TRACY 
No I'm sure I can cope 

ENSEMBLE 
Well this show isn’t broadcasted... cinemascope! 

VELMA 
I never drank one chocolate malt 
No deserts for Miss Baltimore crabs 

AMBER 
This one will never get a date in those hand me down clothes 

VELMA 
Ha! Kid she’ll never get a date until daddy buys her a new nose 
I would say Oy gavault if I wasn’t Miss Baltimore crabs 

AMBER 
Do you dance like you dress? 

LINK 
Amber there’s no reason to be cruel 

VELMA 
Would you swim in an integrated pool? 

TRACY 
I sure would! I’m all for integration 
It’s the new frontier 

VELMA 
Not in Baltimore it isn’t 
And may I be frank 
First impressions can be tough 
And when I saw you I knew it 
If your size weren’t enough 
Your last answer just blew it 
And so my dear so short and stout 
You’ll never be in so we're kicking you out 
With your form and your face 
Ah it isn’t your fault 
You’re just down with a case of Miss Baltimore crabs 
Ugh you may go 

TRACY 
Um thank you 

PENNY 
I think they secretly liked you 

LIL INEZ 
May I please audition? 

VELMA 
Ha of course not but you may bow and exalt 
Because I am Miss Baltimore crabs 

Send "(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs" ringtones to your cell

lyrics submitted by xMagentax
lyrics corrected on 16-08-2007