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"I'm A Wanker" Lyrics

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Duration:00:03:09
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Lyrics

My mother said
that I never should
never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
Their giggling talk I could never understood
And thats why I fell in love with my right hand

(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And im always pulling my pudd

I was 25 years old
before I was kissed
and then I found the I prefered
a swift one off the wrist
Its cheap and convenient
and you cant catch VD
Its avalible at anytime and its absolutly free

(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm wanker
I'm a wanker
and im always pulling my pudd

Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've got pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turnt to water
And I think im going blind

I've wanked over Italy
I've wanked over Spain
I've wanked in an omibus
I've even had a wank in a train

I've used a badger
and a melon
and a cat
a inflatable Linda Lovelace
and a David Crocket hat

(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
and it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
and im always pulling my pudd

Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turnt to water
And I think im going blind
  • submitted on October 22nd, 2004
  • corrected by Titch on April 27th, 2005

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  • LetsSingIt (5)
  •  guest says:
    pop out
     
     Biggot_Ben says:
    Like 020-04-2014 16:02
     
    I suppose he used his left hand for the bad spelling.
     Sophie_1 says:
    Like 003-01-2005 00:13
     
    haha haven't heard it b4 but sounds cool!! haha
     xoxoKate says:
    Like 002-01-2005 22:58
     
    hahahaha i love it
    Like 023-10-2004 18:44
     
    ex introduced me 2 this, and iw as the only girl he knew who liked it, funny song!
     DannyB says:
    Like 022-10-2004 15:13
     
    Hahah.. I'd love people to listen to this song, if you cant find it and want it, I have it and can send you it.

    (The lyrics rock)