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    Ivor Bigun / Lyrics

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    "I'm A Wanker" Lyrics

    Album:
    Genre:
    Duration:00:03:09
    Rank:8,785 (*) history »
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    Lyrics

    My mother said
    that I never should
    never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
    Their giggling talk I could never understood
    And thats why I fell in love with my right hand

    (Chorus)
    And thats why
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    And does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    And im always pulling my pudd

    I was 25 years old
    before I was kissed
    and then I found the I prefered
    a swift one off the wrist
    Its cheap and convenient
    and you cant catch VD
    Its avalible at anytime and its absolutly free

    (Chorus)
    And thats why
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    And it does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm wanker
    I'm a wanker
    and im always pulling my pudd

    Oh Mrs Palm
    and your 5 lovely daughters
    Thank you for having me
    and being oh so kind
    I've got pains in my arms
    and my donkeys growing shorter
    My knees have turnt to water
    And I think im going blind

    I've wanked over Italy
    I've wanked over Spain
    I've wanked in an omibus
    I've even had a wank in a train

    I've used a badger
    and a melon
    and a cat
    a inflatable Linda Lovelace
    and a David Crocket hat

    (Chorus)
    And thats why
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    and it does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    and im always pulling my pudd

    Oh Mrs Palm
    and your 5 lovely daughters
    Thank you for having me
    and being oh so kind
    I've pains in my arms
    and my donkeys growing shorter
    My knees have turnt to water
    And I think im going blind
    • submitted on October 22nd, 2004
    • corrected by Titch on April 27th, 2005

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    • LetsSingIt (5)
    •  guest says:
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       Biggot_Ben says:
      Like 020-04-2014 16:02
       
      I suppose he used his left hand for the bad spelling.
       Sophie_1 says:
      Like 003-01-2005 00:13
       
      haha haven't heard it b4 but sounds cool!! haha
       xoxoKate says:
      Like 002-01-2005 22:58
       
      hahahaha i love it
      Like 023-10-2004 18:44
       
      ex introduced me 2 this, and iw as the only girl he knew who liked it, funny song!
       DannyB says:
      Like 022-10-2004 15:13
       
      Hahah.. I'd love people to listen to this song, if you cant find it and want it, I have it and can send you it.

      (The lyrics rock)