Jay-Z - 99 Problems Lyrics

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If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son 
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one 
I got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol 
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed 
Rap critics that say he's "Money, Cash, Hoes" 
I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those? 
If you grew up with holes in your zapatos* 
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin dough 
I'm like fuck critics, you can kiss my whole asshole 
If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward 
Got beef with radio if I don't play they show 
they don't play my hits - well I don't give a shit, SO! 
Rap mags try and use my black ass 
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers! 
I don't know what you take me as 
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has 
I'm from, rags to riches, niggaz I ain't dumb 
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one - hit me! 

99 problems but a bitch ain't one 
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son 
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one - hit me! 

The year is ninety-four, in my trunk is raw 
In my rearview mirror is the motherfuckin law 
Got two choices y'all, pull over the car or (hmm) 
bounce on the Devil, put the pedal to the floor 
And I ain't tryin to see no highway chase with Jake 
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case 
So I, pull over to the side of the road 
"Son do you know why I'm stoppin you for?" 
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low 
Or do I look like a mindreader sir? I don't know 
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'? 
"Well you was doin fifty-five in the fifty-four; 
license and registration and step out of the car - 
are you carryin a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are" 
I ain't steppin out of shit, all my papers legit 
"Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?" 
Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back 
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that 
"Aren't you sharp as a tack! You should try out 
for lawyer or somethin, somebody important or somethin" 
Child I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit 
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit 
"Well we'll see how smart you are when the canine comes" 
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one - hit me! 

99 problems but a bitch ain't one 
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son 
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one - hit me! 

99 problems but a bitch ain't one 
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son 
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one - hit me! 

Now once upon a time, not too long ago 
A nigga like myself had to strongarm a hoe 
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy 
But a pussy havin no God damn sense, try an' push me 
I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord 
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform 
You know the type, loud as a motorbike 
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight 
And only thing that's gon' happen is I'ma get to clappin and 
he and his boys gon' be yappin to the Captain 
And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again 
Back through the system with the riff-raff again 
Fiends on the floor, scratchin again 
Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin them 
D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again 
Half a mill' for bail cause I'm African 
All because this fool was harassin them 
Tryin to play the boy like he's saccharin 
But ain't nuttin sweet bout how I hold my gun 
I got 99 problems B and a bitch ain't one - hit me! 

99 problems but a bitch ain't one 
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son 
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one - hit me! 

99 problems but a bitch ain't one 
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son 
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one - hit me! 

.. Whoo! Whoo! Uh, uh 
Havin girl problems I feel bad for you son 
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one, ha ha! 
You crazy for this one Rick! It's your boy!

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lyrics submitted by BabY_GirL_Roc_A_Fella
lyrics corrected on 10-06-2006