"London Bridge Song, The" Lyrics

Joni's lighthearted take on "London Bridge" was a crowd
pleaser in her mid-sixties club show,
before she signed her first recording contract.
This transcription includes spoken patter that,
combined with her music, enchanted audiences back in
the early days when Joni was playing the smaller,
more intimate venues she has always enjoyed most.

(Spoken words are in italics)

London Bridge is falling down
See the people in my town
They're the ones who bring it down
(It's true they've been for centuries,
walking by it and saying, you know,
London Bridge really is falling down, poor thing,
it just fell down in shame)
My fair lady-o

London Bridge is falling up
Save the tea leaves in my cup
Guess the cup is cracking up
My fair lady-o
(I'll have to get a Pyrex one)

London Bridge is up for sale
Booze heads put my friend in jail
Spent my bridge money on bail
My fair lady-o
(Sure would've like to have bought that bridge)
(Couldn't let him go to jail)

If the bridge belonged to me
I would serve you tarts and tea
Smiles, that's all the tolls would be
(Don't grant you people would be getting across at all)
My fair lady-o

On the bridge there stands a car
Painted with peculiar flowers
It's the Beatles' it's not ours
(Guess they're looking at the bridge)
(Hope they buy it)
My fair lady-o

London Bridge is falling down
(Something like that)
London Bridge is coming down
Coming down on London Bridge
Ice cubes melting in my fridge

(They always, do you know those fridges are terrible,
they're always melting things and ice cubes are dripping
all over the floor)
(And the vegetables are all rotten and your friend
turns to you in her very British way and she says:
"You know I paid two bob for this.
It smells a bit peculiar doesn't it,
but don't you think... well, we can serve it anyway" and she does)

Coming down on London Bridge
Mutton rotting in my fridge
Coming dow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow
Coming-ming-ming-ming-ming-ming
(A little electronic music there for your pleasure)
Coming down on London Bridge
My fair lady-o