"The Perfect Bathroom Trip Plan Song" Lyrics

We live in a world full of dirty things
Dirty doornobs and ATM machines
Dirty cooks sneezing on my chicken wings
So much dirty disease, we can't keep our hands clean

Public restrooms are our main concern
Where the walls are painted with strangers' germs
If they scribble on the wall
Of a bathroom stall
Do you honestly think
They wash their hands after touching their-

All I'm making is a simple suggestion
To have an exit plan next time you enter a restroom
I'm not concerned with your particular reason
Be it OCD, or just the upcomming cold and flu season
Listen here

Do your business,
Zip up and then dispense this
Little bit of paper towel but wait,
Turn on the tap, apply some soap,
Lather up, rinse, don't stop the flow,
First grab that paper towel you saved
Use it as a barrier
When touching the faucet area
Then get more paper towels for your hands,
Dry with it, then retain it,
For the doornob may be tainted
As you exit, toss it off the wall into the trash can,
It's the perfect bathroom trip plan
It's the perfect bathroom plan (It's perfect)

Do your business,
Zip up and then dispense this
Little bit of paper towel but wait,
Turn on the tap, apply some soap,
Lather up, rinse, don't stop the flow
First grab that paper towel you saved,
Use it as a barrier
When touching the faucet area
Then get more paper towels for your hands
Dry with it, then retain it,
For the doornob may be tainted
As you exit, toss it off the wall into the trash can
It's the perfect bathroom trip plan
It's the perfect bathroom plan (It's perfect)

It's the perfect bathroom trip