"The Asshole Song" Lyrics

When I park my car I take up two spots
I let my dog loose on your lawn.
I Give away endings during movies and I never ever flush the john.
I go to Safeway and try to use old coupons
I cut my kids hair like a bowl (like a bowl)
I smoke big cigars around little babys, why?
Coz i'm an asshole.

I play with the remote control when your watching T.V
I wear my hat in movies so you can't see
I drive really fast when your in front of me
And I drive really slow when your behind
Oohh I am an asshole.

Me and my stupid friends drive around real late
Our cameros dont have buffers and we think its really great.
Whenever you're at dances we make tusses at your date
But our only real girlfrinds are the kind that you inflate, Huh!
Oooooh I am an asshole

Oh when you go to the phone booth and you open the book
And the page you want is missing it's coz thats the one I took
Thats the one I took! thats the one I, one two, one two three
I'm the asshole in your neighbourhood I live right next door
I party till I'm naked then I throw up on your floor

Your daughter was a virgin but she isn't anymore
When I play monopoly I cheat
I'm the asshole that you meet when you're walking down the street
I'm the asshole that you meet each day