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- Song score
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| Rhythm | 9.8 |
| Melody | 9.6 |
| Instruments | 9.8 |
| Lyrics | 10.0 |
| Vocal | 9.6 |
| This song has been reviewed 9 times. Overall score for this song, 9.8. |
- Song video
- No video found
- Top 10 Tool songs
Tool - Rosetta Stoned Lyrics
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| Song lyrics |
Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.
10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes,
in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky
like one would hope but never really expect
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...
Holy fucking shit!
Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent
Outta the butt end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
So light in his way,
Like an apparition, that
He had me crying out,
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got right on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.
Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me
I can't breathe right now!
It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me
I can't breathe right now!
You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed.
Hey ...
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me!
Can't remember what they said
We don't know, and we won't know (x12)
God damn, shit the bed!
 lyrics submitted by Georger77 on 22-04-2006  lyrics corrected by Maynard James Keenan on 30-07-2009
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| Showing reactions 1-13 of 13 | Page 1 of 1 |
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02-05-2006 01:31 xMajinx |  13,401 posts
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agreed | 04-05-2006 00:29 Severon |  72 posts
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Some of adam's best riff work right here. Awesome song. | 15-05-2006 18:41 jackalclone1 |  65 posts
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this is tied with 10000 days as my favorite track on the cd. lost keys leads into this song perfectly, it's awesome how you can't even tell where the track ends and this one begins. there has to be a deeper meaning to this song than the whole being abducted by aliens and being told the ultimate salvation and doom of our species/world and undergoing the frustration of beeing deemed psychotic. the reference to ron hubbard kinda makes me think that, cuz maynard seems to like to reference hubbard throughout tool's deeper songs. i think. i dunno. even if there isn't a deeper meaning, this song is so awesome, with elements of humor as well as elements of the state of being [human] and existing amongst your fellow man. | 28-05-2006 09:37 sp00ky_child |  2 posts
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Actually, I think this song is more about how your normal everyday, sometimes less than normal [i didnt even graduate out of fucking high school] are taken and made into heros. Even though theyre just these scummy-kinda people someone up there has chosen them to lead. But for better or worse is the question...? Well, thats just what I think anyways. | 31-05-2006 05:10 Slifer |  125 posts
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Holy fucking shit! | 01-06-2006 22:14 Jehryni |  86 posts
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Best listened to:
stoned
Friends everywhere will agree! | 30-06-2006 07:35 Jehryni |  86 posts
| Also:
somniferous
adj : sleep inducing
 | 23-07-2006 19:48 Anonyman |  17 posts
| it's about a LSD trip, if you don't know... | 09-08-2006 19:41 Cottrelli |  3 posts
| One of the riffs sounded similar to the bridge in Lateralus. But other than that, really nice. | 10-08-2006 14:04 LauraMich |  3 posts
| An LSD trip clearly gone wrong...
Hoffman was obviously the guy who first created LSD, so the person whose point of view the song's meant to be from is blaming him for making him end up in such a bad state... or "losing the key" which was apparently a message given from an alien. I hear that believing you've had encounters with aliens and being told special things can be kinda common so I'll just believe it :-S. "Shit the bed again" refers to him screwing up by not "having a pen" and remembering this information.
There's also been comment by others that Maynard once wrote on the site something about using drugs to get to a certain spiritual level of enlightenment, and then spending the next ten years trying to reach that same state without the drug... and this song being a way of putting that. I don't know if that's true, plus it sounds kind of weird - but ok!
Song sounds pretty awesome nonetheless | 18-10-2006 22:20 Electrokinesis | 
 160 posts
| 100% official, MJK approved lyrics up | 18-08-2007 14:45 impaled1138 |  16 posts
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God damn, Shit the bed
lol great song, as many people said, Lost Keys ties in so good with this song. | 23-10-2008 20:25 Kaberg | 
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I think the song was made from Maynards perspective of the scientology religion.
he is for 1 mentioning the founder of the religion, and the whole alien them fits right in.
During a 1993 show at the Church of Scientology’s Celebrity Centre in Los Angeles, Keenan (who would later write the lyrics "Fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones"), baa-ed like a sheep for a good portion of the show. "Before our set this guy tries to intimidate me by showing me a gun in his jacket," Keenan recalled. "I explained to him that if he pissed me off I’d start a riot."[
(Wikipedia)
it could be about dreams as well, seeing this extraordinary things while sleeping then waking up and cant remember it as if sleep was i higher plane of existence were you could see clear and beyond |
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