Weird Al Yankovic - Dare To Be Stupid Lyrics

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Put down that chain saw and listen to me
Its time for us to join in the fight.
Its time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Its time to let the bedbugs bite. 
You'd better put all your eggs in one basket
You'd better count your chickens before they hatch.
You'd better sell some wine before its time
You'd better find yourself an itch to scratch. 

You'd better squeeze all the Charmin you can
While Mr. Whipple's not around.
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan. 

Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite off more then you can chew
What can you do? Dare to be stupid! 

Take some wooden nickels,
Look for Mr. Goodbar,
Get your mojo working now,
I'll show you how you can dare to be stupid! 

You can turn the other cheek,
You can just give up the ship,
You can eat a bunch of sushi then forget to leave a tip.
(Dare to be stupid!) Come on and dare to be stupid, 

It's so easy to do, dare to be stupid!
We're all waiting for you. Let's go! 

It's time to make a mountain out of a molehill 
So can I have a volunteer?
There's no more time for crying over spilled milk,
Now it's time for crying in your beer. 

Settle down with a family. Join the PTA.
Buy some sensible shoes and a Cheverolet.
Then party till your broke and they drag you away.
It's OK. You can dare to be stupid! 

It's like spitting on a fish.
It's like barking up a tree.
It's like I say, you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free. 

Dare to be stupid! (yes) Why don't you dare to be stupid?
It's so easy to do. Dare to be stupid. 
We're all waiting for you. Dare to be stupid. 

Burn your candle at both ends.
Look a gift horse in the mouth.
Mashed potatoes can be your friends. 

You can be a coffee achiever.
You can sit around the house and watch Leave it to Beaver.
The future's up to you, so what'choo gonna do?
Dare to be stupid! Dare to be stupid! 

What did I say? (Dare to be stupid)
Tell me what did I say? (Dare to be stupid)
It's alright (Dare to be stupid)
We can be stupid all night (Dare to be stupid) 

Come on, join in the crowd (Dare to be stupid)
Shout it out loud (Dare to be stupid)
I can't hear you (Dare to be stupid)
OK, I can hear you now (Dare to be stupid) 

Let's go! 

Dare to be stupid (Dare to be stupid)
Dare to be stupid (Dare to be stupid)
Dare to be stupid (Dare to be stupid)
Dare to be stupid (Dare to be stupid)

Send "Dare To Be Stupid" ringtones to your cell

lyrics submitted by Joe
lyrics corrected by Elizabeth Easton